MATT (matt981) wrote,
MATT
matt981

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i think i'm losing my mind this time...

sarah has been here for about three weeks now and things have been all right... well, up until today. we woke up this morning and i realized our kitty (mimi) was nowhere to be found... i checked under my bed where she usually sleeps but she wasn't there... so sarah and i started looking for her.

the entire time we were looking, the worst thoughts possible were running through my head... i live on the 10th floor and we have a balcony and on numerous ocasions, mimi has climbed up to the edge of the balcony. she'd walk on it and lay on it sometimes and it scared me to death every time she'd do it because i was always afraid that she'd fall... but since yesterday, the air conditioner has been turned on, so i was thinking there was no way mimi could have been even out on the balcony since the door to it was closed. sarah went to look on the balcony and she got her glasses and she started looking over the ledge... and she called me over because she couldn't see exactly what she was looking at 10 stories down... so i went over and looked down, and there all the way down on the scaffolding set up above the ground level laid mimi. i just started crying right away and went back inside... it's so unfair... and more so than anybody else's, it's my mom's fault. she was a bit drunk last night and she left mimi out on the balcony overnight... i know she did because i was talking to my mom on the balcony and mimi came out there with me... so my mom must have forgotten about her and left mimi out there overnight. mimi probably wanted to get back in and after crying and scratching at the door and nobody hearing her, i would think she'd try to get off the balcony somehow else or something... and i guess she hopped up to the ledge and fell off somehow, 10 stories down...

she was only six months old... sarah and i were supposed to grow old with that kitty, our kids were supposed to play with her... and this is really fucking unfair, i hate it... god, i loved that kitty so much. she was so little and playful and cute and now just like that she's gone... sure, we can always get another kitty when i move back to washington but it won't be the same. god...

now we have to sit here until my parents get home... tonight, sarah and i are going to get mimi's body and we're gonna bury her. i'm sure that's going to make me cry even more...

well, that's all, i think... maybe i'll post with something later...
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