MATT (matt981) wrote,

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what if i was white...?

so let me see what's new...

it's over between sarah and i... i broke up with her. the thing is, i don't see things working out between us in the long run. i was supposed to move to washington in order to live with her, but i don't want to leave new york now. and i wouldn't want her to move here... i would feel so bad if she had to make the sacrifice that i myself couldn't make. i was telling her for the longest time that we'd make things work, but i don't know what i was thinking because the truth is, it can't work. i don't want to leave new york and if i can't step up and make that sacrifice, then i don't want sarah to have to be the one sacrificing something, even if she wants to.

i don't know if that makes sense.

oh, it's my birthday today. i turn 20, which is pretty horrible. i'm no longer a teenager and am unsure how to deal with that.

on saturday night, mo, chris and mike took me out to dallas bbq to eat, which was a lot of fun. i'm really glad to have such great friends... especially at a time like this, when i need support and whatnot. i'm not just saying that because of the sarah thing, i'm also talking about turning 20... it's kind of scary to me. at this point in my life, i should be doing something with myself... either working or going to school. i seriously have to start getting my shit together now... my sister is helping me get a job at riteaid, and i have to go down to brooklyn college sometime soon. i have to talk to them about taking some summer classes to start things off, then start my first semester in the fall. i was actually looking through their website and they have a video programming type degree... so that's good. i have to just get through this part of my life and get into this school and start getting my shit together because life sucks right now, big time.
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